And "The Mullet" shall inherit the earth
By: Richard C. Thomas

I'm looking at him from across the room, but he has no clue how captivated I am…

It's not everyday I get the chance to see a guy like this. With his checkbook, in the back pocket of those white washed Levi's and that cool ass AC/DC concert shirt glued to his spare tire… I didn't even need to look; only one hair cut is cool enough for this classic rocker… "The Mullet!" Oh yea… business in the front, party in the back baby! The truth be known, I sported a mullet back in '88… I think I milked that gem of a look until early '91, or soon thereafter. Who can forget the invasion of "grunge?" That, pretty much killed the mullet… and, so I thought.

Apparently not for this guy, or an entire sub-culture of Camaro driving headbangers, who share a love for their ponytails way deeper than… even, they're love of Coors! If that doesn't say it all, then I will… WAKE UP! The 80's are over, and Poison has broken up… then re-united again in 2000, for the undeniable: "We need the money tour!" But honestly… they can't see this? Should someone tell them the year is 2003? I understand some humans find a level of comfort, or a point in their life, where they make a choice to permanently reside in that bubble of oblivion, and there they live… happier than a fag in a dick-tree! I think there's something to be learned from this display of humanity: after all, they're living life carefree. Clueless, as to what you and I think! Simply because, it doesn't matter to them… what we think, is for us… but that look, well… they own it!

The very concept intrigues me… mostly because I can't identify with it, at all. I think that's only natural to feel like this though; if I recall, an ancient philosopher actually referred to this as… curiosity, or something? Whatever you want to call it… either way, I'm in! And here's why…
In the world today, plagued with bling-bling wear'in, bitch slapp'in, Chrystal drink'in, tatted down & pierced, mega-cool, MTV wannabees everywhere you look. It's nice to see a lost part of "real" Americana returning home to roost, even in the ill proportionate shape of the mullet hair do… or should I say hair don't? No, I say do… and do it well bro! I'm all for individuality, so I appreciate the way he snubs his nose at those MTV types, 26 times daily… which is, each time he flips his hair! To me, he's saying "in your face" to societies pretenses, whenever he's cruising the Camaro with t-tops off allowing the wind to caress… "The do." The man knows how to live… and, alive he is!

So, the next time you cross paths with the person badass enough to be sporting a mullet, take a second, closer look at them. Let that image resonate in your subconscious mind as a reminder of the past, and glimpse to the future. Because if I'm not mistaken, I remember hearing that the bible clearly states, "and the mullet shall inherit the earth" or something just like that… really, I've seen the pictures, and Jesus had a mullet!