Billy Goat Revolution -- by Ned Sane

The voice in his head
Came without warning
Billy goats in Kansas
Had just begun horning

Jethro heard the voice
Deep in his soul
He looked to the sky
Then fell in a hole

The message, it seemed
Was a little too late
To save ranch hand Jethro
From meeting his fate

He lay on his face
'bout twelve feet below
Six fingers broken
Three teeth and a toe

He came back awake
From a strange foggy sleep
The Billy goat gang gathered
Glaring down at the creep

For years he had teased them
Taunt, slap, kick and yell
At last that dang farm hand
Was going to hell

That voice in his head
Had meant to help Jethro
Hoping to avoid
The Billy goat overthrow

It had come from above
The source was unknown
Jethro's body now broken
His chances were blown

The gang was excited
Their hooves scraped the dirt
Jethro saw horrified
That fresh soil hit his shirt

What the heck are ya dooin?
The farm hand did yell
But soon he was silent
Buried straight off to hell

Their enemy a goner
The Billy goats felt good
If Jethro could not stop them
Then who the heck could?

Could all this really happen?
Would they soon take control?
Could they bury each human
In a dark stinking hole?

The rampage soon started
With hooves, snouts and legs
To create human pitfalls
Drop tyranny to the dregs

Then farmer's wife Betty
Fell deep in one moat
Which caused farmer Jim
To pump many rounds of deer slug shotgun blasts…
Into several Billy goat.

Moral: Humans always win